Doing a twelve day working week. I think it's making me a bit gushy... It's good too. I feel efficent like I'm saving for something. And I am saving to cover rents and pay for my show. Which is now today starting to scare the bejesssus outta me. Not scare, well yes scare. I went to texticles (good) the other night and realised that space aint as little as I thought, perhaps I am not just going to be able to sneeze it out over a weekend!! and feel a bit flaky, at openings an stuff I'm the same saying """ Yeah I have a show comming up in april at TCB"" blargggggggggg cause cause I feel like I talk talk but don't do do. I keep thinking "privacy!". I know I feel like a liar cause I have been away from the studio for all these days, and The show so far is a few things I like on the floor. This show is going to be vaguer and kinda more 'beyond me' to exlain than usual perhaps.
Last year was very easy. I just need time at the studio coal face and it will solve.
I want to thank SHANKS! the peps who do blog, It can feel indulgent, it is, but reading honest stuff makes me feel closer to being in the studio. I just felt a bit 'believed in' last year and now I could trippppp/disappoint.*cry cry*
I wrang my brother and asked him to take a photo of the farm tip and send it too me. I was walking out to see it while home for xmas and collecting scraps like a little one, bring them back to my room that has been repainted, bieged out, by my mum and all my old trinkets, rocks and posters are gone. I am allowed to decorate again. But thats weird like pretending I am fourteen again. It was pre boarding school shrine.
The tip, has the faux brick cladding from my gran's house in it, like here house has been exploded into it. I would walk out and go 'hey life is a destructive thing and that's ok n' difficult'. I am always trying to come up with the summary of freaking everything! like the life is a uni lecture to summarise. But you can't, and that's good. Means there is lots to be done. The tip is a crack/ gutter in the creek with cheeky stuff poked into it.
Bro wouldn't take the photo, he said 'it shouldn't exist'.